16-01-2011, 10:45 AM
This article is sad but true - more and more people are thinking of not having children. Maybe people are getting more self-centred as they get more affluent? As in they have a "me-first" attitude and thus do not want to waste their time, energy and money no raising another human being? (Note: I have a young daughter aged less than 2 years old).
Jan 16, 2011
Why 'Stop at Two' still makes sense to me
The high opportunity cost of raising a child is discouraging for working mothers
By Jane Ng
After I gave birth to my daughter in 2009, my son asked if there would be any more babies coming out of my tummy. My answer was: No, I don't think so.
Before I had children, I was open to the idea of having three kids. Now, Jason is five and Shannon will turn two this year, and my husband and I have decided that two is enough - at least for now.
Many Singaporeans think this way, with families with two children being the norm, based on the Census 2010 report which was released last week.
A growing trend though are single-child families and married couples with no children.
Fourteen per cent of ever-married women aged 30 to 39 had no children 10 years ago. That number went up to 20 per cent last year.
And so, the low birth rate trend continues. Experts do not expect it will be reversed any time soon, not with pragmatic Singaporeans and the rising cost of living.
Although I have children, I understand why some baulk at the idea of having them.
The cost of raising a child is real and I'm not even referring to the $80 tin of milk powder or, as the child grows older, tuition, enrichment programmes and the like.
Those in the know pray for an uneventful pregnancy and I realised why after I conceived Shannon. I had persistent bleeding when she was in her second month of gestation. My gynaecologist took no chances as I had had a previous miscarriage and gave me twice-weekly hormone jabs and hormone pills. Coupled with weekly scans and consultations, the bills added up.
I was also put on bed rest for two months and used up all my medical leave. Just when the pregnancy had stabilised and I thought I could return to work, I contracted chicken pox.
I was six months pregnant and had to be warded because of the risk of secondary infection. I had to take no-pay leave after that as I had used up all my paid leave.
We were thankful when Shannon was delivered safe and sound on Nov 11. But she was whisked into the neonatal intensive care within hours of her birth with pneumonia. Her seven days in the intensive care unit at Thomson Medical Centre set us back by more than $13,000. Even with Medisave, we had to pay some $8,000 in cash.
Cost is one thing and money lost can always be earned again. But the opportunity cost for working mothers is another reason women are not having children.
Sociologists agree that graduate mums are probably more pragmatic as they have more to lose in terms of career and salary.
Hence, it came as no surprise when the census found that university graduates had the fewest children by the end of their child-bearing years, with an average of 1.74 children among ever-married graduates aged 40 to 49.
In contrast, the average number of children born to their counterparts with below-secondary education was 2.21.
A married friend who works in a bank said she would not give up her high-flying career, which entails travelling, to have children.
'I'm good at my work and I enjoy it. Why should I give it up to have kids?' she said.
She's not alone in her thinking.
While firms do not penalise employees for having children, taking time off to have them means having less to show for during appraisal time. I had Jason in February 2006 and took two months of no- pay leave on top of my three months of maternity leave because I felt the need to be at home.
In the subsequent six months, I transferred to our student publication IN, so that I could work from home. All in, it was almost a year away from covering news and it naturally affected my promotion chances that year.
While I lament the loss of a chance to be promoted, it did not change my mind about having children. I took another six months off after I had Shannon just to spend time with her and train my helper.
I returned to work last September. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home when I could have a leisurely breakfast with my children and do many types of craft with my son, I also looked forward to reporting again.
In fact, the time at home helped me conclude that I would not be happy being a stay-at-home mother because I like the mental stimulation that comes with working.
It helped that my then-bosses were willing to grant me no-pay leave each time I wanted to take time off. After more than a year away from work, my mother was incredulous that I still had a job to return to.
A strong support network at home also helps. My mother helps with the weekly marketing; my husband willingly takes over caring for the children if I have to work from home; my helper cooks dinner and plays with my children, and my mother-in-law pops by to keep an eye on my helper. Without them, there is no way I would be willing and able to have a second child.
Having children has increased my efficiency at work. Aiming to go home early each evening to spend time with them, I file my stories quicker than before.
But between work and spending time with my two children, I have little time for myself or my husband.
So the pragmatic part of me says there is no way we can have a third one, no matter what the census in 2020 might show.
Last week, my husband said he dreamt that we had No3. Thankfully, it was just a dream.
janeng@sph.com.sg
Jan 16, 2011
Why 'Stop at Two' still makes sense to me
The high opportunity cost of raising a child is discouraging for working mothers
By Jane Ng
After I gave birth to my daughter in 2009, my son asked if there would be any more babies coming out of my tummy. My answer was: No, I don't think so.
Before I had children, I was open to the idea of having three kids. Now, Jason is five and Shannon will turn two this year, and my husband and I have decided that two is enough - at least for now.
Many Singaporeans think this way, with families with two children being the norm, based on the Census 2010 report which was released last week.
A growing trend though are single-child families and married couples with no children.
Fourteen per cent of ever-married women aged 30 to 39 had no children 10 years ago. That number went up to 20 per cent last year.
And so, the low birth rate trend continues. Experts do not expect it will be reversed any time soon, not with pragmatic Singaporeans and the rising cost of living.
Although I have children, I understand why some baulk at the idea of having them.
The cost of raising a child is real and I'm not even referring to the $80 tin of milk powder or, as the child grows older, tuition, enrichment programmes and the like.
Those in the know pray for an uneventful pregnancy and I realised why after I conceived Shannon. I had persistent bleeding when she was in her second month of gestation. My gynaecologist took no chances as I had had a previous miscarriage and gave me twice-weekly hormone jabs and hormone pills. Coupled with weekly scans and consultations, the bills added up.
I was also put on bed rest for two months and used up all my medical leave. Just when the pregnancy had stabilised and I thought I could return to work, I contracted chicken pox.
I was six months pregnant and had to be warded because of the risk of secondary infection. I had to take no-pay leave after that as I had used up all my paid leave.
We were thankful when Shannon was delivered safe and sound on Nov 11. But she was whisked into the neonatal intensive care within hours of her birth with pneumonia. Her seven days in the intensive care unit at Thomson Medical Centre set us back by more than $13,000. Even with Medisave, we had to pay some $8,000 in cash.
Cost is one thing and money lost can always be earned again. But the opportunity cost for working mothers is another reason women are not having children.
Sociologists agree that graduate mums are probably more pragmatic as they have more to lose in terms of career and salary.
Hence, it came as no surprise when the census found that university graduates had the fewest children by the end of their child-bearing years, with an average of 1.74 children among ever-married graduates aged 40 to 49.
In contrast, the average number of children born to their counterparts with below-secondary education was 2.21.
A married friend who works in a bank said she would not give up her high-flying career, which entails travelling, to have children.
'I'm good at my work and I enjoy it. Why should I give it up to have kids?' she said.
She's not alone in her thinking.
While firms do not penalise employees for having children, taking time off to have them means having less to show for during appraisal time. I had Jason in February 2006 and took two months of no- pay leave on top of my three months of maternity leave because I felt the need to be at home.
In the subsequent six months, I transferred to our student publication IN, so that I could work from home. All in, it was almost a year away from covering news and it naturally affected my promotion chances that year.
While I lament the loss of a chance to be promoted, it did not change my mind about having children. I took another six months off after I had Shannon just to spend time with her and train my helper.
I returned to work last September. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time at home when I could have a leisurely breakfast with my children and do many types of craft with my son, I also looked forward to reporting again.
In fact, the time at home helped me conclude that I would not be happy being a stay-at-home mother because I like the mental stimulation that comes with working.
It helped that my then-bosses were willing to grant me no-pay leave each time I wanted to take time off. After more than a year away from work, my mother was incredulous that I still had a job to return to.
A strong support network at home also helps. My mother helps with the weekly marketing; my husband willingly takes over caring for the children if I have to work from home; my helper cooks dinner and plays with my children, and my mother-in-law pops by to keep an eye on my helper. Without them, there is no way I would be willing and able to have a second child.
Having children has increased my efficiency at work. Aiming to go home early each evening to spend time with them, I file my stories quicker than before.
But between work and spending time with my two children, I have little time for myself or my husband.
So the pragmatic part of me says there is no way we can have a third one, no matter what the census in 2020 might show.
Last week, my husband said he dreamt that we had No3. Thankfully, it was just a dream.
janeng@sph.com.sg