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Full Version: Valentine's day special: Choosing your Valentine from a Value investing standpoint
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Most people on this forum spend lots of time picking the right stocks. Valentine's day is tomorrow. Perhaps we should spend time on picking something/someone even more important. Your wife. I spend some time thinking over this issue yesterday. This is going to be a long post.

The most important decision a man can make is arguably his choice of wife. A wrong choice can ruin his happiness for the rest of his life. If he tries to regain his happiness by getting rid of the wrong wife, he risks financial ruin because of the huge cost of divorce. At least women gain financially when they divorce. Therefore, it is very important for men to put very careful thought into the screening criteria for potential wives.

ALL men, including me, start off on a wrong foot when we look for wives. We are immediately turned on by a gorgeous hot babe. Naturally, we get instantly turned off by this other babe.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5spoimBNc1qmoze4.jpg

Like value investors with a contrarian streak, we should not dismiss too quickly what makes us feel uncomfortable. Often, it is the unpopular and neglected that yields value.

Physical beauty is the most over-rated attribute among the qualities that men seek in women. It is so desired by men that we bid up prices of beautiful women in the marriage market to stratospheric heights and yet, is beauty really that important? Have you ever heard of parents advising their sons to get a hot babe who performs well on the bed so that he can receive good sex? To parents who know better, it is always about good character and someone who is respectful to them. Physical looks appeal to our basic animal spirits but in the ultimate scheme of things, they do not matter that much. Besides, all women, however beautiful, must become ugly some day. Aging is inevitable. Postponing the inevitable costs lots of money. Is that good value? Instead of paying up for a depreciating asset, should we men not focus on the more enduring assets like good character, mutual love, great communication, matching interests, good financial habits? It will be ideal if a gorgeous hot babe also possess these enduring assets. However, if such a woman comes along, she most likely will be very expensive to acquire. She will probably be spoilt by rich suitors who treat her with expensive dinners and gifts. The poor and middle-class simply cannot compete. For the richer ones, it will still cost a bomb. Why get yourself embroiled in a bidding war? On the other hand, if we were to place our bet on a value babe who possesses the enduring good assets but looks like a pig, she will not only be cheaper to acquire but the probability of success is also higher. Money spent on wooing girls who reject you yields zero returns. So, place your bets on higher-probability ones where there are no competing bidders.

Alright, I know I know. It is madness to expect men to settle down with a pig-like value babe. Just as investors should choose a style that suits their temperament, men should choose a wife that does not look too abhorrent to their taste. A plain-looking Jane with 2 eyes, 1 nose and 1 mouth should do fine.

If you are a cheapskate on the prowl for value, ugliness presents the opportunity for mis-pricing in the wife market. An ugly woman does not make a bad wife. In fact, it may be a blessing in disguise for her. I have a theory that men who marry beautiful women have a higher chance of straying. They marry for beauty. Unfortunately, the aging wife's beauty fades with time and when that happens (with 100% certainty), they look for a younger and prettier mistress. The ugly wife, on the other hand, is on safer grounds because the husband will hardly notice that the aging wife has gotten uglier because it cannot get any worse. It may not be a bad idea for a man to get used to an ugly wife right from the start since she is going to become ugly one day anyway. This reduces the risk of him womanizing which is financially disastrous even for the rich because of the cost of divorce. Unfortunately, boys will be boys.

Since men are expected to foot the bill on dates, we should think of ways to minimize this cost. The most cost-effective way is to find a wife during your school days. As students, it is fair to expect both parties to go on Dutch since both are not earning an income.

Dating women near or slightly above the marriageable age yields a higher chance of landing a wife. When a woman gets older, she will start to worry about being left on the shelf. Older women are more serious about getting married. Therefore, money spent dating older women is more likely to yield returns than on younger women. The older age is a catalyst that will shorten the time for one's investment to bear fruit. Younger women who are not so keen on marriage will keep the poor man waiting and spending. To minimize your cost, keep your expenses on dates to women who are serious about marriage. The ideal case is to marry the first girl you date and kiss. This is not only cheap but the relationship is also healthy as it is free from past emotional baggage. This advice is not applicable to swinging bachelors who derive pleasure from switching girlfriends and having fun with lots of partners. This is just another freedom of choice for one's lifestyle, although it is a very expensive one.

For men who are thrifty and aim for financial freedom at an early age, it is very important to find a thrifty wife. It is hard to save if one party earns and the other spends. It is hard to fill a leaky bucket. Opposing financial habits in a couple can kill a relationship. The European crisis is an example of such a union at risk of breaking up because of the mismatch between thrifty Germany and spendthrift Greece.

From my personal experience, a good way to evaluate whether a girl is of wife material is to observe how she treats her own family. How she treats her family today is an indication of how she treats you when you become family tomorrow. If she is not a filial daughter, drop her. If she cannot get along with her siblings, find out why. If she loves her family very much and showers them with great care and generosity, she will probably be a good wife to you, a good mother to your children and a good daughter-in-law to your parents. Such a wife, even if she looks like a pig, should bring happiness to the man who marries her.
(13-02-2013, 01:53 PM)hyom Wrote: [ -> ]...

From my personal experience, a good way to evaluate whether a girl is of wife material is to observe how she treats her own family. How she treats her family today is an indication of how she treats you when you become family tomorrow. If she is not a filial daughter, drop her. If she cannot get along with her siblings, find out why. If she loves her family very much and showers them with great care and generosity, she will probably be a good wife to you, a good mother to your children and a good daughter-in-law to your parents. Such a wife, even if she looks like a pig, should bring happiness to the man who marries her.

I concur. A girl who doesn't care much of her family relationship, will never or able to take care of your family.

My mum ever said, married a good wife is better than winning 1st price in lottery.
cool article by hyom, thanks. as warren buffett says, "never date the prettiest girl around the block."
my greatest investment has definitely been my wife (in terms of returns, she's a 15 bagger).
i've been seeing more and more friends go thru divorce (shortest marrriage lasting just 2 weeks), the financial and emotional destruction is truly horrible...
You want to find a good caring woman? They also looking for the same qualities in a man so look at yourself in the mirror first and see if you are compatiable they also want good type. Big Grin
I would like to think of my wife as someone/company with a very high "untangible goodwill" in the balance sheet, negative cash flow, cyclical stock with volatile earnings(break from work due to maternity), high capex and with expensive acquisition for wholly subsidary (kids), which may and may not pay off in the future. And I am the "founder" cum CEO of the company, wholly responsible if the company did badly or doesn't work,and enjoy the bonuses when times are good.While there might be times when i feel tempted to invest in another company (flirt), I always still true to the company I found, not that there are no better value-plays out there, but to liquidate the company is not a choice, since I "found" it and has too many sentimental values, and is bonded by an contract (oath) and so will stay vested through thick and thin, through ups and downs of business cycles, till death do us apart... hahaha
Money is not everything and you can't take your excess cash into the grave.

Humans crave beauty, we are built to, in people in art in music etc. Sure we can get by with no beauty in our life and just look for the best value in everything we do. But that is being ruled by money and not ruling over money.

Just some food for thought.

I do concur with hyom though that character is most important in a wife and for me the best way to test that is thru adversity.
I totally agree. Its a rare gem to find a good wife.

During market crashes, your kids and wife shall bring you joy in the family...

During bull market, try to spend $$$ on gifts to your love ones.


(13-02-2013, 02:40 PM)CityFarmer Wrote: [ -> ]
(13-02-2013, 01:53 PM)hyom Wrote: [ -> ]...

From my personal experience, a good way to evaluate whether a girl is of wife material is to observe how she treats her own family. How she treats her family today is an indication of how she treats you when you become family tomorrow. If she is not a filial daughter, drop her. If she cannot get along with her siblings, find out why. If she loves her family very much and showers them with great care and generosity, she will probably be a good wife to you, a good mother to your children and a good daughter-in-law to your parents. Such a wife, even if she looks like a pig, should bring happiness to the man who marries her.

I concur. A girl who doesn't care much of her family relationship, will never or able to take care of your family.

My mum ever said, married a good wife is better than winning 1st price in lottery.
(13-02-2013, 03:39 PM)sgd Wrote: [ -> ]You want to find a good caring woman? They also looking for the same qualities in a man so look at yourself in the mirror first and see if you are compatiable they also want good type. Big Grin

Very true indeed. The screening criteria we apply to our wives should also be applied to ourselves as a form of self-improvement.

thistimenotdifferent Wrote:my greatest investment has definitely been my wife (in terms of returns, she's a 15 bagger).
i've been seeing more and more friends go thru divorce (shortest marrriage lasting just 2 weeks), the financial and emotional destruction is truly horrible...

My wife is priceless and I cannot quantify her in terms of the number of baggers worth. The wife is the single most important pick we will make in our life. It is also the hardest and most dependent on luck. Forummers here talk about focused investing versus diversified investing. What can be more focused than our choice of wife? We can only marry 1 wife. Changing wives can make even rich men poor because of the cost of divorce thanks to Women's Charter. Fate and luck plays a dominant role in the kind of wife we get.

Greenrookie Wrote:I would like to think of my wife as someone/company with a very high "untangible goodwill" in the balance sheet, negative cash flow, cyclical stock with volatile earnings(break from work due to maternity), high capex and with expensive acquisition for wholly subsidary (kids), which may and may not pay off in the future. And I am the "founder" cum CEO of the company, wholly responsible if the company did badly or doesn't work,and enjoy the bonuses when times are good.While there might be times when i feel tempted to invest in another company (flirt), I always still true to the company I found, not that there are no better value-plays out there, but to liquidate the company is not a choice, since I "found" it and has too many sentimental values, and is bonded by an contract (oath) and so will stay vested through thick and thin, through ups and downs of business cycles, till death do us apart... hahaha

This is the most witty reply I have read today.
Wah Singapore Inc. is really making us all into economic creatures, haha. Likening wives to "intangible assets" etc.

Well, hyom has a good point - my wife is not demanding and is satisfied with what we have, and this is already a good basis for happiness (not always yearning and coveting for more).

Happy Valentine's Day!
Wife is the most important "asset". There is no point getting all your stock picks right but no one to share your success.
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