18-12-2011, 07:59 AM
How do you curb materialism in a kid? Not a question with an easy answer - peer pressure and advertising are the main culprits here. I guess one has to be firm and explain how tough it is to earn $, and that one should separate NEEDS from WANTS. It's also a good idea to let kids earn their own money from a young age, and to practice delayed gratification.
Any other suggestions?
The Straits Times
Dec 18, 2011
My 5-year-old wants an iPhone
By Jane Ng
As I was driving off after picking up my son Jason from preschool one day, he chirped from the backseat: 'Mummy, when can you buy me an iPhone?'
To say that I was taken aback at his request is an understatement. I kept silent for a few seconds, reeling in shock because his asking when I would buy one for him presumed that I would definitely do so. And he is all of five years old.
After questioning him, I found out that he wanted an iPhone to play games on because his classmate had an iPhone and that it was 'not his daddy's or mummy's but one of his own'.
For the record, neither my husband nor I own an iPhone - yet - as we do not see the need to pay a couple of hundred dollars for it when we can get another mobile phone for free when we renew the handset contract.
I explained to Jason that an iPhone is a very expensive mobile phone. 'How expensive?' he asked, undeterred.
'It costs many hundreds of dollars which I can use to buy a lot of fresh milk with,' I said, adding that 'papa and mummy don't even own an iPhone'.
I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not be buying him a mobile phone, iPhone or otherwise, as he did not need one. And that he is not entitled to one just because a friend had one.
He seemed to accept my explanation and has not mentioned it since. But I worried about what I had done wrong as a parent to raise such a materialistic kid, despite my efforts to the contrary.
After all, I thought I had tried to shield him from excessive consumerism by rarely taking him on shopping trips, except when I'm buying groceries.
His Chinese New Year clothes or craft materials are bought online or on solo shopping trips.
When we're doing grocery runs on weekends, I make it a point to tell him I'm choosing one item over another because it is at a discounted price.
I often turn down his requests to buy toys or gadgets, saying they are too expensive or not on sale. Wising up to my firm tone, he usually forgets about it after grumbling for a while.
In fact, my husband and I have instituted a range of approaches over the years to reduce his material consumption or at least make him more mindful about it. We keep toilet paper rolls and tissue boxes so he can use them to create art projects.
'Kakak threw away a cereal box when we could have reused it,' he said of my helper.
He has no qualms wearing hand-me-downs or inexpensive shorts from the pasar malams. And he once tutted at a prominent shopping centre in town because it had lights all over its exterior.
'What a waste of electricity,' he said.
What, then, had gone wrong? TV commercials and peer influence are apparently common culprits, according to research. They create in a child the desire to have the toy being advertised.
While we limit Jason's TV time on weekdays, it is near impossible to block out the influence of peers in school. At one point, it was Beyblades, then Power Ranger figurines and now it is Angry Birds.
It is impossible to keep up with the material desires of kids today. At one point, my husband and I decided: 'If you earn it, you can spend it.'
We allowed him to earn money by washing our car - $2 a wash - so he could save up for toys or stationery he wanted.
Another solution is to focus on raising a child's self-esteem. A study which looked at materialism among children by Deborah Roedder John, a professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota's Carlson School of Management, found that when
self-esteem was boosted, levels of materialism dropped. Other ideas are to mute the TV during commercial times, remind him not to follow the crowd and set a good example as a parent.
The easiest thing to do, though, seems to be just getting the kid outside. Be it cycling, swimming or running, this teaches him that it is possible to have fun without needing to buy expensive toys.
I'm not sure if our efforts have paid off, especially when Jason, on hearing my sister tout the merits of owning an iPhone, suggested: 'Mummy, I don't need an iPhone, but maybe you should consider getting one.'
janeng@sph.com.sg
facebook.com/ST.JaneNg
How do you curb materialism in your child? E-mail suntimes@sph.com.sg
Any other suggestions?
The Straits Times
Dec 18, 2011
My 5-year-old wants an iPhone
By Jane Ng
As I was driving off after picking up my son Jason from preschool one day, he chirped from the backseat: 'Mummy, when can you buy me an iPhone?'
To say that I was taken aback at his request is an understatement. I kept silent for a few seconds, reeling in shock because his asking when I would buy one for him presumed that I would definitely do so. And he is all of five years old.
After questioning him, I found out that he wanted an iPhone to play games on because his classmate had an iPhone and that it was 'not his daddy's or mummy's but one of his own'.
For the record, neither my husband nor I own an iPhone - yet - as we do not see the need to pay a couple of hundred dollars for it when we can get another mobile phone for free when we renew the handset contract.
I explained to Jason that an iPhone is a very expensive mobile phone. 'How expensive?' he asked, undeterred.
'It costs many hundreds of dollars which I can use to buy a lot of fresh milk with,' I said, adding that 'papa and mummy don't even own an iPhone'.
I told him in no uncertain terms that I would not be buying him a mobile phone, iPhone or otherwise, as he did not need one. And that he is not entitled to one just because a friend had one.
He seemed to accept my explanation and has not mentioned it since. But I worried about what I had done wrong as a parent to raise such a materialistic kid, despite my efforts to the contrary.
After all, I thought I had tried to shield him from excessive consumerism by rarely taking him on shopping trips, except when I'm buying groceries.
His Chinese New Year clothes or craft materials are bought online or on solo shopping trips.
When we're doing grocery runs on weekends, I make it a point to tell him I'm choosing one item over another because it is at a discounted price.
I often turn down his requests to buy toys or gadgets, saying they are too expensive or not on sale. Wising up to my firm tone, he usually forgets about it after grumbling for a while.
In fact, my husband and I have instituted a range of approaches over the years to reduce his material consumption or at least make him more mindful about it. We keep toilet paper rolls and tissue boxes so he can use them to create art projects.
'Kakak threw away a cereal box when we could have reused it,' he said of my helper.
He has no qualms wearing hand-me-downs or inexpensive shorts from the pasar malams. And he once tutted at a prominent shopping centre in town because it had lights all over its exterior.
'What a waste of electricity,' he said.
What, then, had gone wrong? TV commercials and peer influence are apparently common culprits, according to research. They create in a child the desire to have the toy being advertised.
While we limit Jason's TV time on weekdays, it is near impossible to block out the influence of peers in school. At one point, it was Beyblades, then Power Ranger figurines and now it is Angry Birds.
It is impossible to keep up with the material desires of kids today. At one point, my husband and I decided: 'If you earn it, you can spend it.'
We allowed him to earn money by washing our car - $2 a wash - so he could save up for toys or stationery he wanted.
Another solution is to focus on raising a child's self-esteem. A study which looked at materialism among children by Deborah Roedder John, a professor of marketing at the University of Minnesota's Carlson School of Management, found that when
self-esteem was boosted, levels of materialism dropped. Other ideas are to mute the TV during commercial times, remind him not to follow the crowd and set a good example as a parent.
The easiest thing to do, though, seems to be just getting the kid outside. Be it cycling, swimming or running, this teaches him that it is possible to have fun without needing to buy expensive toys.
I'm not sure if our efforts have paid off, especially when Jason, on hearing my sister tout the merits of owning an iPhone, suggested: 'Mummy, I don't need an iPhone, but maybe you should consider getting one.'
janeng@sph.com.sg
facebook.com/ST.JaneNg
How do you curb materialism in your child? E-mail suntimes@sph.com.sg